November 5, 2017

Find Me on Youtube

Hi!

Spending my Saturday at home, while my husband is out at a bowling tournament.
Since I have a few hours to myself, I decided to go on Youtube.
Been putting social media aside, I find myself on Instagram and Twitter often these days.

Thought its good to finally have my wedding videos uploaded on my Youtube channel,
not that I'm a Youtuber or anything. Just for keeps, yaknow.

So here's the link, if you're ever interested... 




August 26, 2017

Angau beb



People say I'm clingy.
Truth is, my husband is too. 
That way, we're both clingy. 
That way, we are both very much dependent on each other. 

Maybe, that is the little secret to our many many many bundles of joy.

We're so married, but God, I miss you so much. 

I can't wait for Wednesday. 
I can't wait to be back in your arms. 

May 11, 2017

Moving on,

After many sleepless nights - tossing and turning, soulless days....
my heart & mind finally concluded what I needed, probably.

Came down to an exhausting, heavy, harsh, sudden decision.
I quit my job.

The job that I knew I loved.
Always thought of moving on earlier, but time never seemed to agree.
So I held on.
Stood strongly, patiently, and loyally next to my employer.
Most times, its just the two of us.

All this while, I knew exactly why I stayed.
I wanted to see the brand grow.
I wanted to be a part of them 'special & big moments' for the brand, and my employer.
I wanted to know "what's next?"
Every so often, it gets pretty tiring.

Down to May 2017, I knew I had to do something. I knew I had to look for something bigger.
Dude, coz I'm turning 30 in another 5 years!

Didn't think I would leave this early, what more thought of sticking around this long
Nevertheless, there is no such thing as the "right time".

I found myself typing down the eerie single-page letter, and telling my employer that I am leaving.

She's definitely someone to me - who am I kidding, I see her everyday!
More than an employer. I was more than an employee. 
It was not a normal "I'm done, goodbye boss" kinda thing, more to getting your heart broken and shattered into pieces - and obviously I cried a river.

Despite all that, I had to convince myself over and over and over again, that this is necessary.
It is time that I thought about my family, my career, and dreams (maybe).
I have been putting myself aside for too long that I forgot to find what's best for me.
#adultingishard

So... I have one more month left until I move on to a new chapter.
I guess things will never be the same between me and my employer,
because to her, this was clearly wrong timing.

In all honesty, I still want the best for her, with or without me.






January 15, 2017

Lower than low

I went to the clinic today. False alarm lewlz. Turns out the signs my body was giving were not me being pregnant, its me being fat.

The doctor said I have to lose weight, back to when I was 18, and that's like 20kgs away.
How do you people do it? You get up, exercise, go to work, come back, then sleep?

I was just calculating my time and all, if I wanted to live healthily, its good riddance to my social life, TV, k-drama and all that jazz :( and its gonna be just work everyday. 

Where do I fit in time for my passion? Or my hobbies? 

To at least keep me sane and happy after coming back from a tiring day at work?


January 5, 2017

While my husband sleeps,

"I just want to see you
When you're all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I can't escape
I love you 'till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You don't want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why don't you just take me
Where I've never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you 'till the end

I just want to be there
When we're caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words don't tell me
All I can say
I love you 'till the end"

- The Pogues

January 3, 2017

Fresh Starts, Same Dreams

Because 2017 is already here, and I can never keep up to my NY resolutions, I thought maybe this should really be a place of random thoughts; should it influence you, you decide.

Then maybe when my lungs give in, and I'm no longer around, my husband, my family can end up here when they miss me :)

^ probably something like the movie PS I Love You

Beginning with : 03/01/2017

Sent Mirrul to the LRT Station for his first day of work at a company he applied since 2014. Feeling so blessed that Allah has put things into place so wonderfully, that I even get to drop by at my parents' place while I wait for my turn to go to work.

May 2017 brings all of us closer together, wiser and happier.

November 17, 2016

Mama

My heart is just restless. Tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I'm tired, but I can't sleep.

This morning I realized that it must have something to do with my mom. I know that her heart is not at ease and I've not done much to help her either.

All my life it has always been just us. All my life I never strayed away from her. Since my wedding, I moved out and stayed with my husband. Now I understand how hard it is being away from her.

I wish my mom knows how much I miss her, how she is always on my mind and that I actually never stopped missing her. I hope she knows that I am working hard because I want to give back to her. I hope she knows that I am always around whenever she needs me. I hope she knows that I love her more than anything in this world.

Through it all mom, Allah is great and He is with you. As tough as things get, you should know that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

We haven't had any "mother daughter" time for quite a while now, let's do lunch?

Missing you so much,
Your Rissa.